Give It 15 Minutes: What a Family Cabin Trip Taught Me About Processing Emotions

The Dread That Set In on Monday

We left on a Thursday. By Monday I already felt a heavy resistance settling in. Not about the people. I love my people. It was everything it takes to get there.

The packing. The groceries. The meals for 20 plus people. The hot cabin with no AC, an uncomfortable bed, all three kids in my room, stuff everywhere. This was our first trip with three kids and it just felt like a lot. I was dreading it, looking for ways to simplify or get out of it entirely.

I just did not want to do all the hardships of motherhood in a hot cabin.

That might sound dramatic. And I know the instinct is to say, put on your big girl panties and buck up. But when we keep doing that over and over without actually letting ourselves feel what we feel, resentment builds. Emotions get suppressed. And eventually there is an explosion. That version of me is not who I want to be.

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Crying on the Couch Thursday Morning

Thursday arrived and I was curled up on the couch in a blanket, crying, with still plenty of packing left to do. I knew what that meant. I had not fully addressed the emotions yet.

My body always tells me when there is something to work through. My throat gets tight. My chest gets heavy around my heart. Those are my signals.

I warned my husband. I told him I had a lot of resistance about this trip and if I had a breakdown while we were up there, he had been warned.

And then I gave myself 15 minutes.

I laid there and let every thought come. I don't want to do this. The bed is awful. It's hot. I have to feed everyone.

All of it.

A full pity party.

Because that is what I needed in that moment. No one else was brought into it. Just me, the blanket, and the feelings.

What Happens When You Actually Let Yourself Feel It

After I gave the heavy emotions the space and attention they needed, something shifted. The tightness in my throat started to ease. My chest loosened. And then I could actually see clearly.

I really do love this place. I love these people. I love the lake.

When you give emotions room to exist, they move through. When you suppress them, they build. That is the whole thing. Emotions are not bad. They are information about what matters to you. And once you let them deliver the message, they do not need to stay.

Inside Out, the movie, gets me every time because it is so accurate. Every emotion has a purpose. Every single one.

"When you give emotions room to exist, they move through. When you suppress them, they build."

The Power of Speaking It Out Loud

"You are never going to know what you need until you drop into your heart and ask."

Whether it is on paper, into a voice memo, or out loud to someone, speaking what you are feeling matters. There is real power in it. My husband has become an incredible sounding board because I have learned to advocate for myself. I do not need him to fix anything. I just need to say the words.

When I was first learning this, I would tell him something like, I am feeling the data right now and I just need a few minutes to work through it. He has since told me he can see how much the processing has helped. It has helped our marriage because I can communicate what I actually need instead of just saying I am fine when I am not.

You are never going to know what you need until you drop into your heart and ask.

15 Minutes Is Usually Enough

My mom texted me after we arrived and offered to let me stay back a day. She could sense I was tired and carrying something heavy. And I genuinely considered it.

But 15 minutes on the couch had already done most of the work. By the time I got up here I felt so much better. Not because the uncomfortable bed got more comfortable or because making meals for 20 people got easier. But because I had given my emotions what they needed before I got in the car.

The shower is my other favorite place to process. A walk works too. Wherever you can find a few minutes of quiet, that is enough. And if you cannot find it right then, the emotions will wait. You can always come back to them later.

"Emotions are not bad. They are just information about what matters to you."

Start Here

Give your emotions a name. Notice where you feel them in your body. Breathe with them. Say all the things out loud. Have your pity party. And then lean into gratitude when you are ready.

You will not be bogged down by heavy emotions forever if you stop shoving them down and start getting curious about them.

They are just information. And the better you get at listening, the more joy you find on the other side.

Cheering you on 📣

Brynne

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Hi, I’m Brynne. I share my journey of becoming through stories and reflection - guided by a higher power as I explore identity, faith, and everyday life, inviting you to grow alongside me.

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