Sugar, Signals, and Setting My Future Self Up

Did you know that a 9x13 pan of homemade fudge contains 5 cups of refined sugar? Five. Along with 10 ounces of mini marshmallows, a bag and a half of semi-sweet chocolate chips, a can of evaporated milk, half a stick of butter, and vanilla. I'm not sharing this to make anyone second-guess eating fudge (I absolutely indulged in as much as I wanted yesterday and it was delicious), but standing in my kitchen with all of those ingredients in front of me, I was genuinely shocked. As a big baker, I know that a batch of cookies typically calls for around 2 cups of sugar, so seeing 5 cups plus chocolate chips plus marshmallows all going into one pan was a lot to take in.

Today, I'm paying for it. I woke up foggy, sluggish, a little short-tempered, and just struggling to get going. And here's the thing — I've been really working on paying attention to my body, honoring what I need each day, and not judging myself when things feel hard. But I'm also learning that the choices I make right now are setting my future self up, for better or for worse. There are things outside of my control, especially as a woman; hormones, sleep disruptions from kids, all of it. But there are also choices I can make that give me the best shot at feeling energized and strong, and that's what I'm focused on.

Yesterday while I was eating the fudge, I was actually tuned in. I ate until I was full, I paid attention to my body, and there was a clear moment where it told me it was done. And then I kept eating anyway. My stomach started to ache, not unbearable, but the signal was there. I ignored it, and by bedtime I felt awful. I had a rough night sleeping, and this morning was exactly what you'd expect after that.

"The choices I make right now are setting my future self up, for better or for worse."

I don't have a regular cycle, which means I don't get the typical hormonal cues that might warn me in advance that my energy or mood is going to dip. So I've learned to take each day as it comes — checking in each morning and asking, what do I have to work with today? Some days the answer is a lot of energy, let's go. Other days it's more like, okay, let's at least get on the treadmill and see what happens. That approach has actually been really empowering.

"Treats absolutely have a place in my life. But going past the point of satisfaction? Genuinely not worth it."

This morning I got on the treadmill, but when it came to my usual weightlifting session afterward, I just couldn't do it. My kids were being their normal, loud, needy selves, and I was completely overwhelmed. I had to step out to the garage and take a breath. And I made the call to stop. Could I have pushed through? Sure. But the version of me that pushes through on a day like today ends up snapping at her kids and crying by evening, and that's not worth it. So I didn't.

I showered, got ready, and gave myself permission to take it easy. I rested when the baby napped, made sure I had a smoothie with fiber, a good filling lunch, and some oatmeal in the morning. Just trying to replenish and refuel after a day of fun food. And honestly, it was a good reminder. This is what happens when I stop listening to what my body is telling me. I love the intuitive process I've been building — learning which foods give me the micronutrients, fiber, and protein I want, and finding ways to eat them that actually taste good, because if it's not enjoyable, I'm not going to stick with it.

Treats absolutely have a place in my life. Yesterday was delicious and I don't regret making the fudge. But going past the point of satisfaction? Genuinely not worth it. And that's the lesson I'm taking into tomorrow.

You got this!

💗 Brynne

"Some days the answer is a lot of energy, let's go. Other days it's more like, okay, let's at least get on the treadmill and see what happens."

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Hi, I’m Brynne. I share my journey of becoming through stories and reflection - guided by a higher power as I explore identity, faith, and everyday life, inviting you to grow alongside me.

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